


Heroes fall the hardest

by Royswordsman (RoySwordsman)



Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Comic), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Civil War, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoySwordsman/pseuds/Royswordsman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Civil War Tony has to live with the guilt of betraying one of his biggest idols and so he attempts to bury himself within his work to forget it all, knowing for well, forgetting something as large-scale as that will haunt him forever. Some things can never be fixed, no matter how hard you try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heroes fall the hardest

Going to work first thing was not the norm for Tony Stark. He would rarely get up this early, so early that the sun hadn’t even peaked in the sky yet and even for him, looking upon his own tall building this early seemed a surreal experience, even as he craned his head upward and stared at the building that still had its lights on from the workers that had spent all night there. Though he carried on, walking inside, getting even more surprised looks from his co-workers, his little minions that he relied upon to achieve success through synergy, it only hit him when he had finally reached his office.

  
Small, meek steps toward the windows, he was almost afraid to look outside for it was then he would see the damage that was done. All the devastation of wrecked buildings, smoke that still filled the sky, it was all from the previous weeks. It had already been a week since it happened and it still hurt, even as he watched his team mates swoop around with such elegance; patrolling the cities and trying to restore peace. He had to remain strong and composed but it was so hard to do so, he tilted his head up, just for his own benefit, as long as he looked strong perhaps it would affect his mind-set. He had to walk every second with his head held high, with that look of never ending determination glistening in his eyes, even though it was clear that the small glint he had was now gone as much as he tried to fake it.  
After staring out upon the city it was time to delve within his work and reach out some sort of positivity from the dark chasms of his mind that had now been shrouded in shadows. He sat down in his large, cold leather seat that swivelled around and just as he did so he pulled out a couple of papers from his drawers, but when opening his drawers his eyes caught a glimpse of something he had gotten rid of, or at least told his staff to remove. Instantly his heart began to fill with such heaviness, such pain and deep set sorrow and he clenched his jaw before he reached for it, pulling it into his hands. There were small folds and creases from his carelessness, after all, it was buried amongst papers, there was no need for him to have such a thing in his possession but working late nights had often took their toll. In the past he had always needed some tome to regain his sanity and in particular, it was this small photograph that would remind him that he was working for all the right reasons. His fingertips attempted to flatten out the dog-eared ends of the paper, though there were scratches all over it, it was quite worn. He felt his lower lip quiver and he winced with pain as the throbbing in his chest seemed to worsen with every passing second he glanced at the image. Attempting to clear his throat only made things worse, it let him hear the sound of his cracking voice as it broke with extreme tribulation. He had no idea what was possessing him to stare with such intent, as though looking at it would somehow reverse time to that very moment, the moment that he and Captain America were team mates that commanded the avengers side by side.

  
Though they would bicker and fight in order to assert their dominance, it was all in good will and Cap would never like the day to end on an argument, he would always resolve things, always. Tony let out a huff as he felt a shiver shoot up his entire body and he swallowed thickly, once more as though he were trying to swallow his emotions. He couldn’t help but analyse each feature, each muscle and crease as he tried to picture the moment so vividly, but it was almost impossible considering what he had done. He had brought this upon himself, he knew he would never see this again, that smiling dashing face that beamed with pride, that tall, confident body posture that he had always attempted to mimic, even as a child learning about Captain America just filled him with the aspirations that one day he would be a hero.  
He had killed his hero. He had shoved him into a prison to rot. He had lost his safety blanket and betrayed him with such gut wrenching agony, and now he was being dealt with, beaten until he would return a broken man, if he would return at all. It was for the good of his own team and the public, that’s what he kept repeating to himself to reassure himself but it broke him even more every time he said it with such shallowness.

  
One of the only things he could picture now was the pain in Steve’s eyes as he looked up at him with icy hate and betrayal. It seemed like a complete turnaround compared to the picture that he held in his grasp. He never thought that he would feel so torn by this but it was really destroying him. He found that his hands began to tremble as he put the picture down on the desk, quickly covering his mouth with the unsteady hand and he shut his eyes with grief. He had been trying to recover from this all but he had hurt the one person that he had loved so much. That glare pierced his heart and left and open wound as he felt his breathing quicken, thinking about what they could be doing to Steve was torture. It was all self-inflicted torture.

  
He had asked the staff to get rid of all traces of Captain America in order to help him recover from his heartache; they had locked his room of memorabilia, they had taken down all the pictures of the Avengers but this was the last small thing that he had. It was the last piece of Captain America that he wasn’t prepared to let go, not now that he realised that he still had it. His hands clenched into fists as he slammed them on the table, leaning over with misery as he tried to bite his lip but his breath only quickened, even as he attempted to shut his eyes even tighter to stop the tears but by this point he could feel the tear drops dance over his eyelashes.  
With every passing day since the incident he had hoped that he would recover as per usual, but no, this was far worse, he had never broken anyone’s trust in such a manner. His body ached, but now it was completely numb with turmoil.

  
Leaning closer and closer to the desk until his forehead pressed against the picture that lay upon the mahogany surface, staining it with his own tears. He felt so much pain in his heart and yet his body felt nothing, just pure numbness. He had no one to hide from, after all he was in an office by himself, his office, so he let it all go; he sobbed so heavily that he began to hyperventilate between sobbing. It hurt him so much knowing that Steve wasn’t there anymore for him, Steve wouldn’t burst into the room and sling his arms around him and he couldn’t bury his face into that warm torso to hear that ever so soothing heartbeat.

  
He was gone.

  
“Farewell Captain America.”


End file.
